TEDxHKUST - My Journey of Thriving in Relationship Building
The most important relationship you must build in life, is the one you have with yourself.
I almost jumped out of my chair when I was notified that I had been selected as a TEDxHKUST speaker— it was a dream-come-true moment in my life.
And yes, I can—together with five other inspiring female speakers and the Women in Science and Engineering (WISE) Committee, we co-created an unforgettable TEDx evening with HKUST students and faculty members last Monday.
Reflecting on my journey of transforming from a shy Management Trainee to leading the world's top luxury houses' Private Client business and eventually building my own, I realise that "Yes, I can!" is my leading motto, and "relationship-building" is the most powerful 🗝 to many doors of possibility. Let me share my journey with you.
I have had a fancy career.
Over the last two decades, I built multi-million-dollar Private Client businesses for the world's top luxury brands.
I've trained over 2,000 clienteling experts globally and developed trusting relationships with some of the most influential people in the world - celebrities, royal families, and top executives,
The truth is - I wasn't always good at building relationships.
Eighteen years ago, I was a fresh Management Trainee in the luxury industry. My first big global event was a networking session in San Francisco, where I was expected to mingle with senior executives and make an impression.
I was terrified.
I remember walking into the ballroom, overwhelmed by self-doubt. I felt small in my non-branded outfit, insecure about my English, and ashamed of my humble upbringing.
I spent most of the night trying to stay invisible, and at one point, I locked myself in the restroom to cry.
That night, staring out of my hotel window, I had a big realisation: if I wanted to thrive in this industry, I needed to overcome my fear of networking. But more importantly, I needed to stop beating myself up, and develop a healthier relationship with me.
The above was my first step in learning what I will share today: The three ingredients of thriving in relationship building.
It's About You
Do you know what the most powerful word in the English Language is?
According to a study by Yale University, the most powerful word in the English language is "you." We all want to be heard, valued, and appreciated in relationship building.
After years of servicing luxury clients, I've learned that what truly touches their hearts is never about the extravagant gestures or expensive gifts—it's how we make them feel.
The essence of making someone feel special is consolidated in 4 simple words – I called it the SPCV model.
Sincerity: Be a mirror for others. Authenticity builds trust. Offering honest feedback, even if it means telling clients not to buy something that doesn't suit them.
Presence: Give your full attention to the person in front of you. Be attentive to their words and unspoken needs—like adjusting the room temperature when you notice someone shivering or refilling a half-empty champagne glass.
Curiosity: Being interested makes you interesting! Ask relevant questions and engage in small talk to better understand the other person.
Versatility: Adapt your communication style to match the other person's demeanour. Be more formal with classic clients or casual with those who prefer a relaxed approach.
Whether you're interacting with the HR Manager during an interview, working with new colleagues on a project, or celebrating an anniversary with your loved ones, apply the SPCV model and curate as many memorable relationship journeys as possible.
It's About Everyone
You've probably heard of the phrase "six degrees of separation." The idea is that we're all just six or fewer social connections away from anyone in the world.
Here's what I've realised: every relationship we build has the potential to open unexpected doors. Here are three of my personal relationship delights:
My first intern 14 years ago is now my Head of Marketing.
A client I recently worked with came from a connection I made at a networking event seven years ago.
A casual recommendation from a friend led me to an online training, where I met my now-husband.
Each of the above relationships started as a small seed—and blossomed into something meaningful over time.
On average, we will meet around 600 people in our lifetime. By nurturing each relationship with care, you open doorways to infinite possibilities.
It's About Me
For the longest time, I focused on getting external affirmations: buying more luxury labels, polishing my English accent and climbing the corporate ladder.
I had finally achieved them all - yet I still found something missing.
I embarked on a journey of self-discovery. It wasn't easy, and it took me time – but I finally realised that instead of looking out and seeking the world's approval, I needed to explore within - and create a vision for what I really wanted for myself.
And here I am, empowering more people to build meaningful relationships!
Closing Thought
Thriving in relationships isn't about perfection—it's about authenticity, empathy, and showing up for yourself and others in meaningful ways.
Here's my invitation for you - take the time to look within and create your life vision! Some questions for you to ponder are:
What do you really care about?
How do you want people to remember you?
How do you want to be in relationships with others?
By focusing on making others feel special, playing the long game, and building a healthy relationship with yourself, you can thrive in relationship building—and in life!
p.s. If you'd like to watch the full TEDx video please feel free to message me—I'd be delighted to share it with you when it is ready.
